When God Uncovered My Hidden Trauma

A testimony of healing through the grace of Jesus

For the longest time, I didn’t think I had trauma.

In my mind, “trauma” was something other people had. People who had been physically abused. People who had survived war or violent crime. I never put myself in that category. I thought I was fine.

Then one morning, while driving to work, a YouTube video popped up on my suggested feed. It was titled something about trauma. I scrolled past it. The next morning, there it was again. Still, I ignored it. But by the third day, I paused and said, “Okay, Lord Jesus, I see You’re trying to get my attention.” So I clicked.

And it wrecked me – in the best way possible.

The podcast was called The Cycle of Trauma by The Deep End with Taylor Welsh. Within minutes, I knew: This was for me. Suddenly, I realized that trauma isn’t just about extreme abuse. Trauma is also loss. Abandonment. Fear. Chronic stress. Emotional pain that we never fully processed.

Recognizing the Signs

As I listened, memories flooded in:

My parents’ divorce.
My dad’s alcoholism.
The long, painful journey walking with my brother through cancer.
Car accidents.
My aunt’s suicide.

I had never thought these things “qualified” as trauma. But now, the puzzle pieces started falling into place.

Taylor shared a prayer to break the spirit of trauma (I’ve included it at the end of this post), and I prayed it with my whole heart. That night, I asked Jesus what I was supposed to do with this revelation. The next morning, without me saying a word, my mom sent me a video about the vagus nerve – the part of the body that stores trauma. That was confirmation.

God was clearly answering my prayer.

When the Body Starts to Heal

I started doing exercises for my vagus nerve, simple stretches, breathwork, and even cold plunges. That’s when the physical pain hit me like a wave.
I could barely move. My whole body hurt, especially down the back: my head, neck, shoulders, lower back, glutes, hamstrings. I couldn’t sleep. I was in so much pain I had to tell my boss I’d be working from home. Painkillers didn’t touch it. It was a kind of suffering I can’t describe.

But something inside me knew this pain had purpose.

It was as if the trauma stored in my body was finally being released. The tension moved from my temples to the back of my head, to my neck, shoulders, and back. Even my heartbeat was irregular. I was overheating, yet freezing. It was scary, confusing, but strangely, I had peace. Because I knew Jesus had led me to this point. This was healing.

God in the Middle of My Healing

I believe God allowed this moment because I had been crying out for answers for over two years. Why was I still experiencing so much physical pain? Why did I still feel stuck in certain areas, even though I had surrendered it all to Jesus?

He showed me that healing isn’t always instant. Sometimes it’s a journey – layer by layer, memory by memory, cell by cell.

Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

And sometimes those wounds are hidden deep, even in our nervous system, in our muscles, in our subconscious.

But Jesus cares about every part of us. Spirit, soul, and body. (1 Thessalonians 5:23)

Where I Am Now

The physical pain is gone. I still have nights where I struggle to sleep, and my emotions are far closer to the surface than ever before. I cry more easily, not from sadness, but from depth. Sometimes from joy. Sometimes from deep gratitude.

One example: Recently, my family gathered, my mom, dad (divorced for 24 years), my other brother and his family, to scatter my late brother’s ashes. It was the first time we were all together like that. I cried later, not because I was grieving, but because I was grateful. Grateful that even after everything, my family could come together in peace and honor him.

I’ve come to believe that these tears are evidence of healing. I’m no longer suppressing. I’m feeling again. Jesus is restoring me, even in the parts I didn’t know were broken.

If You're Reading This...

..maybe you’ve told yourself the same things I used to say:

“What happened to me wasn’t that bad.”
“I should be over it by now.”
“That’s in the past.”

But trauma doesn’t always shout. Sometimes it whispers through tension in your shoulders, anxiety at night, or the fact that you haven’t cried in years.

I want to tell you: Jesus cares about all of it.

And maybe, just maybe, this blog post is your third day – the moment you stop scrolling and start listening.

A Prayer to Break the Spirit of Trauma

(from The Deep End with Taylor Welsh)

I rebuke the spirit of trauma in Jesus’s name. I repent for allowing my past to become so significant to me that it can move my heart without my permission. God, I reset the boundary lines, and I choose to disagree with anything that has lied to me about my past or my future.

God, please take control of how I feel. I give You control of my calendar. I give You control of seasons and timelines. I no longer wish to leave myself anywhere without Your presence. Please help me by reminding me that You are in my future, and it looks better than I can imagine. God, Your plans are valid, tested, and perfect.

I let go of any memory or emotion that does not agree with the truth that You are good and that You are creating good things for me. Science bends to submit to You. Psychology bends to submit to You. All things and all knowledge exist to support You and to accomplish what You want to do. And anything that I have believed that does not honor Your sovereignty, I disengage with right now.

Please help me, Holy Spirit, because I do not know how to do this. But You said that I can ask for wisdom, and You will give it to me. I ask for mercy to protect me and mercy to break me out of the prison of my past experiences and past events—the spirit of anxiety, fear, worry, trauma, and disappointment.

You must leave, not today, not tomorrow, not this evening, but right now. Your passports to my mind and body are no longer valid. They have expired. And you are under orders from the courts of heaven to leave and not return. Jesus, please advocate for me. Please enforce this decree for me. I choose You over my intellect.

I choose You over my understanding, and I choose You over everything else. The Spirit of God is welcome in me and through me. So may any other idols, spirits, or deities be terminated in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Scriptures That Carried Me:

Isaiah 61:1
“He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.”
Romans 8:11
“If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies.”
John 8:36
“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”
Psalm 34:18
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

This is just part of my story. I believe there’s more healing to come, more truth to uncover, more freedom to step into. But I know this: Jesus is faithful. And He finishes what He starts.

If He did it for me, He can do it for you too.

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