Hope and Healing

Turning the Other Cheek Doesn't Mean Being a Doormat: Matthew 5:39 - But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.

Turning the Other Cheek Doesn't Mean Being a Doormat

I work full-time. Recently, a recruiter reached out to ask whether I was in the job market. She shared a job spec, and I thought, why not see what’s out there? You never know if that door might be the one God wants to open — but you can’t walk through it if you’re not even willing to knock.

I looked at the spec and saw that my skills were a great fit. I sent my CV, and afterward, I was asked to send a portfolio — something I hadn’t been asked for before, so I created one from scratch. This alone took about 3 hours, because (being in the design field) I wanted it to look excellent.

Then I heard nothing for 2 weeks.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, I got a message saying I needed to complete an assessment.

Now, understand, I’m not against assessments. I believe they can be valuable when used at the right time, especially to evaluate skill levels. But this brief landed on a Friday, with a Monday deadline. I said I would look at it over the weekend.

When I finally opened it, I was shocked. It wasn’t a short task; it was a full design project. The brief said it could take up to 6 hours.

Please note: I hadn’t even been for a first interview. I hadn’t spoken to anyone at the company. I had no idea what the salary was, who I’d be reporting to, what the culture was like, nothing. Just a job spec and this huge ask.

Immediately, something in my spirit felt off.

The more I thought about it, the more irritated and unsettled I became. It was completely ridiculous. I sent the recruiter an email (insert summary of your email here), and she responded with something along the lines of: “We don’t expect perfection, we just want to see your process.”

But here’s the thing, I don’t do things halfway. If I say I’ll do something, I do it with excellence. Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters. If they had taken the time to meet me first, they would know that. And if they can’t take 30 minutes to speak to me before asking for 6 hours of unpaid work, it already tells me what kind of environment I’d be stepping into.

I declined the assessment, despite the recruiter’s persistence.
And I had peace.

I strongly believe that when something is from God, you will have peace that surpasses all understanding, not confusion, not irritation, not chaos. (Philippians 4:7)

Misunderstanding “Turning the Other Cheek”

I’m someone who believes in keeping my word. When you say you’ll do something, you do it, otherwise, you’re being dishonest.

So, at first, I thought: I said I’d look at the assessment this weekend, so I have to do it, even if it costs me my whole Saturday.

Then this verse came to mind: “If someone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other also.” – Matthew 5:39

And for a moment, I wrestled with it. Was I being disobedient by refusing to “take the hit”?

But the more I reflected, the more I realised this verse is often misunderstood.
Turning the other cheek doesn’t mean letting people use or abuse you.
It doesn’t mean you become a doormat or allow injustice to go unchallenged.

To me, turning the other cheek means choosing not to retaliate, not taking revenge. The Bible is full of these principles:

“Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. – Romans 12:19
“Do not repay evil with evil.” – 1 Peter 3:9

That doesn’t mean we never say no.
It doesn’t mean we forfeit our boundaries.
It doesn’t mean we stay silent in the face of manipulation.

Some scholars even say “turning the other cheek” was a form of non-violent resistance, a way of holding your dignity while refusing to stoop to someone else’s level.
And that’s what I chose to do.

I wasn’t going to lash out. But I was going to stand my ground.
Because we don’t bow to people, we bow only to God.

We Bow Only to God

We are called to serve, but we are not called to be exploited.

Why do we people-please? Why do we struggle to say no, even when we know we’re being taken advantage of?

I believe it’s often rooted in fear of man:

  • “What will they think?”
  • “Will I lose the opportunity?”
  • “I don’t want to come across as difficult…”

But Scripture says: “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.” – Proverbs 29:25

We are called to fear God, not people. And that fear isn’t about being scared, it’s about being afraid to be far from Him.
As John Bevere teaches, the fear of the Lord means: “God, I care more about what You say than what anyone else thinks.”

Obedience is the evidence of that fear.
Look at the prophets, Ezekiel, Jeremiah, Hosea. They obeyed God even when it made them look foolish or strange in the eyes of the world.

“The currency of God’s trust is obedience.” – Taylor Welch

The more you obey the small voice, the clearer it becomes.
The more you say “yes” to Him, the easier it is to say “no” to the world.

Standing for Truth Is Worship

Jesus is the truth (John 14:6).
And as His followers, we are called to walk in truth, speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15), and even expose what is not of God (Ephesians 5:11).

Sometimes that truth is uncomfortable.
Sometimes it means saying, “This may be normal in the industry, but it’s not right.”

We weren’t put on this earth to please people.
Yes, life will come with trials and tribulations, but some of them are self-inflicted when we say “yes” to things we should have said “no” to.

When you ignore that small voice, that nudge in your spirit, you invite confusion, anxiety, and even burnout.
But when you listen to the Spirit of God, you walk in peace. 

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts…” – Colossians 3:15

From the moment I opened that assessment, I knew it wasn’t from God. Not because I couldn’t do it, we can do all things through Christ (Philippians 4:13), but because of the spiritual unrest I felt.

And that’s how I knew: this wasn’t my door.

Peace isn’t passive – peace is a Person.
And where Jesus is, there is wisdom, strength, and clarity.

Don’t be afraid to say no. Don’t bow to pressure. Don’t lose your peace for the sake of someone else’s opinion.

We bow only to One,  and His name is Jesus.

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