When People Wrong You
I recently came to a crossroads in my life where I had to choose between holding onto resentment or doing what I knew was right in the eyes of God. It all started when I decided to renovate my kitchen.
I had been living in my home for five years, and my kitchen desperately needed an upgrade. So, I reached out to my community group and asked if anyone knew a good builder. A man was recommended to me, and trusting the recommendation, I went ahead and hired him.
He told me the project would take two to three weeks. However, weeks turned into months, and I found myself in a nightmare that lasted three months. During this time, my kitchen was unusable, I couldn’t cook, my cutlery and appliances were stored elsewhere, and my house felt like a complete mess. And if my house is a mess, I feel like my life is a mess. This situation began to wear me down emotionally, causing sleepless nights, frustration, and even depression. Every time I walked past my unfinished kitchen, I felt a fresh wave of anger and disappointment.
Throughout the project, he fed me endless excuses, and I could tell each time he was lying. But I didn’t want to cause drama by calling him out, I don’t like confrontation. Unfortunately, I have the kind of personality that lets things slide until I’ve had enough, and then I explode. I also sensed that because I am a woman, he assumed I wouldn’t know any better and that he could get away with subpar work.
The breaking point came when he claimed he was finished, but I knew the work wasn’t right. I pointed out the issues, and he insisted that was how it was supposed to be. At that moment, I realized he would never take responsibility, and there was no point in fighting him anymore. Instead of wasting more energy on someone unwilling to fix his mistakes, I decided to take another approach. I contacted the manufacturer of the materials and asked them to inspect the work. They confirmed that the installation was done incorrectly and referred me to someone reliable who could fix it.
This was when I had to count the cost, not just financially, but emotionally. Was holding onto my frustration worth my peace? Was spending more money to fix the problem better than staying stuck in resentment? The answer was clear: peace is priceless. I hired a new contractor, who did the job properly, and my kitchen was finally back in order.
But then came another dilemma: the old builder was still owed his final payment. Many people, including my friends and family, told me not to pay him. After all, he had failed to do his job properly, wasted my time, and caused me so much distress. Others suggested that I should send him the invoice for the new builder so he could see how much extra money I had to spend because of his incompetence. My first instinct was to expose him, to warn others, leave negative reviews, and make sure people knew what a terrible job he had done.
Then conviction set in. I kept thinking, Is this the right way to handle this? Am I pointing people to the Kingdom with my actions?
Romans 13:7 says, “Render therefore to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due, customs to whom customs, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor.” I also thought about how God says vengeance belongs to Him (Deuteronomy 32:35 and Romans 12:19). It wasn’t my job to take revenge. And more than anything, I didn’t want to give the enemy a foothold in my life.
Anger, resentment, and unforgiveness are dangerous. They give the enemy room to work in our lives. I believe the enemy can’t curse us directly, but he creates situations where we curse ourselves, by harboring bitterness, by acting out of revenge, by walking outside of God’s principles. And I refused to let this situation be one of those traps.
Refer to the book of Numbers 22-24: The story of Balaam and Balak. In this story, Balak, the king of Moab, was afraid of the Israelites as they were traveling through his territory. He summoned Balaam, a renowned non-Israelite prophet, and offered him wealth to curse the Israelites. However, God appeared to Balaam and told him he could not curse the people God had blessed. Despite Balak’s repeated attempts and offers of wealth, Balaam could only bless the Israelites instead of cursing them. Each time Balak took Balaam to a different vantage point, hoping for a curse, Balaam would instead pronounce beautiful blessings over Israel. The only way the Israelites could be cursed was if they cursed themselves. I was not willing to let this situation make me curse myself.
So, I chose to do what I believed was right. I made the final payment, not because the builder deserved it, but because I had entered into a contract, and I wanted my hands to be clean before God. My responsibility was to act with integrity and trust that God would deal with him in His way and in His timing. Maybe this experience was also meant to teach the builder a lesson, one that only God could reveal to him.
This is the message I sent him:
“Hi [Builder’s Name],
The manufacturer was here, and he confirmed that the installation was not done correctly. He referred someone who will fix it according to the proper standards.
I am paying the final amount I owe you.
Blessings for you and your business.”
His response? “For you, too.”
Whether he realized it or not, he blessed me in return. And I’ll take every blessing I can get!
At the end of the day, I feel peace knowing I did the right thing. Whatever happens to him after this is between him and God. I am not responsible for his heart, his conscience, or the consequences of his actions. That’s for God to handle. My responsibility was to show integrity, to let go of resentment, and to trust that God is faithful.
This experience taught me a valuable lesson: when people wrong you, don’t let their actions dictate your response. Choose righteousness. Choose peace. Choose to showcase the goodness of God.
And trust that He will take care of the rest.
Connect with Us
Follow Us
Prayer Requests
Should you require prayer, kindly send your prayer request to prayers@hopeandhealing.co.za
Testimonies
Should you want to share a testimony, kindly send your testimony to testimonies@hopeandhealing.co.za
General Enquiries
For any general enquiries, kindly send an email to info@hopeandhealing.co.za